I was sitting here thinking about why I have trouble sticking to my guns when it comes to weight loss and good health. Suddenly there was an epiphany! I know why I have so much trouble with this. It’s called INSTANT GRATIFICATION. Let me explain. When I’m trying to eat correctly and exercising, I know that it’s going to take a while. I KNOW THIS. And yet, I look down the road and get discouraged when I think about how long it’s really going to take. And here’s the thing…I LOVE food. I know there are all kinds of reasons that people overeat. I used to work for Weight Watchers, so I know them all. Boredom, depression, sadness, loneliness, even happiness. But none of those are my problems. I just love food! And eating food is instant gratification. It’s so yummy. It makes me happy RIGHT NOW. And we are a world of instant gratification, aren’t we? We want everything at the very moment we think of it. Remember back when you ordered something and they said it would take 4-6 weeks for it to arrive? Not anymore! Companies like Amazon have gotten us accustomed to getting things quickly. And that’s not really a bad thing. But it does change the way we look at things in general. We don’t want to wait. For anything.
After realizing all of this, I’m having problems figuring out how I can use this knowledge about myself to my advantage. How can I “put off” the gratification until I can see real results? What do you all think? How do you make yourself opt for the long term instead of the short term results?
lauralynnelliott.com 
For me it’s about finding little ways to reward myself (that aren’t food related–which is really freaking hard). Usually that translates into supporting my ebook habit. I too absolutely LOVE FOOD and over the last few years I’ve really taken pains to create delicious, flavorful food that can be served in large portions without breaking the calorie bank. Hubs and I recently started the Sonoma Diet, which is all about enjoying food. It’s just focusing on the RIGHT food (i.e. nothing processed, focusing on fresh produce, whole grains, and lean meat).
I actually wrote a tome kind of talking about this this morning. I’ve had to shift my mindset from the idea of the goal being skinny to the goal being healthy. And really, I’ve had to even change the idea of it being a goal and instead think of it as a journey. Because, yeah, that goal is a long way down the road and it’s HARD to keep the faith, particularly through droughts when we aren’t seeing the kind of progress we want.
Something that’s also big for me is learning to slow down. I tend to bolt my food and hence eat more than I should. I often don’t slow down enough to taste and enjoy what I’m eating (which is stupid considering how much I love food). It’s just kind of a symptom of the GO GO GO of the rest of my life.
Anyway, good luck!
I have the same problem with eating too fast. I used to stand up in front of my WW meetings and tell people not to do that. Then I would find myself doing it. We live in a FAST society where we are always in a hurry. We both need to slow down and savor that food! I think I’m going to make that my first challenge for the rest of the week…slowing down so I won’t eat as much.
I just read and commented on your post. We both posted about health today. š
Two (of many) important things I learned from Kait.
#1 you can have cheese without smothering what you’re eating with so much cheese that you can’t see what’s under it. Eating at Kait’s house was sort of a revelation for me in that department because I like everything to have some kind of sauce or gravy, and sometimes that sauce is just cheese. Which I thought needed to cover everything. But now I can make myself a pizza with less than half the cheese I used to and it’s still good.
#2 look for places to put vegetables. She’ll tell you I used to eat no vegetables at all. Today I made myself a pizza that was more spinach and mushrooms than anything else. And a pile of spinach and mushrooms is pretty filling. In essence, the pile of vegetables replaced the bulk of the crust (because I used a very flat flatbread) and most of the cheese. And you don’t think diet pizza, you think gourmet pizza. Because it really was.
Hmm..I like Kait’s idea of it being a journey. Maybe you could create a journey chart that shows the successes you reach along the way until you reach your destination. For example, a success could mean you ate all your fruits or veggies each day for a week. The next could be drinking your water. You love Excel maybe you can figure out a chart for this! š It could be set up like a road map for something with the little checkered flag at the end.
Good ideas, Anya. But you know I’m not going to eat my fruits and vegetables. I just don’t like most of them. Some of them even make me gag. I know that’s one of my biggest problems and it’s why I take whole food vitamins, to try to make up for part of that.
If I could just get back to using my phone app to count my calories. I was losing weight when I was doing that. And that app has just about any food you can imagine. And like Kait said, I need to slow down when I’m eating. It’s definitely a journey. I just need to stop making so many detours along the way! š
Do we need to watch that wedding video of you eating cake? š hahaha
Please! Not the wedding video!!!
I love food, too. And I’m also trying to knuckle down on the health front. My strategy is to reduce the availability of the truly terrible stuff, and keep healthy choices right in front of my face. I’m also a sucker for the easy way, so if I have a full fruit bowl and no chocolate in the house, I’ll happily eat the fruit. I’m also embracing a closer connection with my food. Enjoying the prep work and cooking, and focusing on putting together a pretty plate so I can feed my soul at the same time as my body. Bright veggies and fruits are really pretty, and make me happy. As the season wears on this will include growing my veggies and herbs as well, which nurtures my connection with the earth. So I guess I’m trying to replace that “instant pleasure” with a deeper, more lasting pleasure. Sounds like I’m trying to find God in my food…and maybe in a way I am.
Hi J.R. What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I wish I liked more fruits and veggies. I really don’t like most of them. Except onions. I LOVE onions. LOL
I enjoy food, too, but in my experience, food tastes better when I’m not overindulging in all kinds of crap. So that’s my thing. I don’t believe in starving myself, so I eat very regularly (got a blood sugar thing going on, too) and never let myself get hungry. For a long time, I wouldn’t have time to eat anything then I would be so hungry that I would pig out at night on the most convenient food which was almost the least healthy. š
It’s a mind set change for most people to actually make changes they can stick with, but remember that all of those short-term results are just stepping stones to the big one, and there’s no point making a million changes overnight because that’s harder to stick with. Maybe make one change at a time and see how it goes for you. (Like cutting out white bread or sugar, or drinking more water at mealtimes).
It doesn’t mean you have to starve yourself or exercise until you’re crawling on the floor either. A lot of people who start working out don’t lose enough weight because they eat too little and aren’t giving their body enough fuel. I use myfitnesspal.com to check up calorie stuff so I’m getting the most bang for my buck. I was really clueless about certain things and having all of those babies close together didn’t help my health. I’m eating way more now than I ever have, but I’m consuming a lot less calories and a lot more healthy foods, and I’ve tons more energy now. The energy thing is my reward. I’ve been tired for so long that I had forgotten what anything else was like. š
So anyway, I recommend giving yourself non-food rewards for doing a great job, and keeping track of your exercise and food. Yeah… I’ll shut up now. But I hope you know it was your last PSA that has gotten me like this. I’ve even been working out regularly since then. š
Hey, you can talk all you want on my blog. That’s why I ask questions. š So was it the blood clot thing that got you thinking? That sure can be an eye opener.
You’re right about the non-food rewards. I used to tell my WW members that. If we reward ourselves with hot fudge sundaes, we’ve really not learned anything. It’s also good to reward yourself often. Maybe small rewards for every 5 lbs., then a big reward for 20. I just need to figure out my rewards. It does no good to reward myself with books, because I’m gong to buy those anyway. LOL.
I soooo need to drink more water. That’s a big problem for me and I need to work on it. My first goal, I think, is to slow down when I eat like I told Kait I was going to do. You’re right…little changes are the only way to go. We get overwhelmed when we try to do too much at once.
That’s the one. It was kind of the last straw, if you know what I mean. I had been full of good intentions, but they don’t get you anywhere. I’m trying with the water, but it’s so hard! I feel great when I drinks lots for a couple of days, but then I kind of forget all about it. I have stopped drinking tea and coffee and have switched to green tea, but the water is definitely my weak point.
The reward thing is easy for me. A new bottle of nail polish, and I’m a happy camper. I would lean toward weekly rewards though, but I’m a little greedy. š
Here are things that work for me:
1. Nothing is off limits, but everything is a choice. If I want, say, a whole slice of cheesecake (and actually, my body’s no longer accustomed to that, so this would be a very rare thing I’d be sorry for later), I can occasionally do that instead of dinner. Because I’m a grown-up and I can make that choice. Or, if I’m going to a favorite restaurant that has amazing steak and amazing dessert, I could have just salad with dressing on the side (dip your fork, please), and dessert, or I could have a steak (or whatever the thing is), then con someone else into getting the dessert and have a forkful. Because, again, I’m a responsible adult and not a spoiled brat and I can live without having every single thing I want when I want it. (It amazes me that so many people get this with other things, but food is so personal to them, they won’t see it.)
2. I do not EVER, EVER, EVER say that I can’t eat just one. I learned to tell myself that I absolute can eat just one Hershey kiss, one potato chip, one french fry. I don’t get really excited about the feel of food in my stomach. All I want is the taste of it. And I don’t have to eat a whole serving/bag to get a taste. All I need for that is one. Just take one and walk away.
3. Eat half a restaurant portion. I wouldn’t order a pair of jeans that are twice my size and walk around in them. But I have to order a restaurant portion that’s usually AT LEAST twice my size because restaurants are often one size fits all. So restaurant rule of thumb, if it’s something good, you probably only get half of it. You’ve now seen that I’m serious about cutting burgers in half before I even take a bite. Again, I’m a grown up. No one can tell me I have to clean my plate, and no one can tell me I have to eat the entire portion they put on my plate right now. If I want to finish that tomorrow, that’s my prerogative, and, as a 5’2″ woman, it’s also my responsibility.
4. I gave up fries. I didn’t say- from this day forward, I will never taste another fry. Because that would be crackheaded. But I gave up ordering fries. It’s completely within my rights to steal a fry off someone else’s plate. It’s also within my rights to make the choice to make a meal of just fries if my desire for fries is irresistible. That’s part of the nothing off limits clause. But it turns out I never do this. And I used to LOVE and live on fries.
5. I gave up the food entitlement I was raised with, and that I see so many people clinging to. I do not get angry about having to halve my portions, or make choices like half a burger or pie, broccoli instead of fries. Why should I be angry? I don’t get angry at plaque because I have to brush my teeth, or simmer over the fact that my body needs sleep. Okay, so some people’s bodies can take in more food than mine. So what? Some people can’t form a decent sentence. I think I’ll take the gifts I’ve got an run with them, thanks.
6. I think Kait was talking today about that thing where you’ve blown your diet and so you just go all out and crazy and eat whatever you want. It was also a big help to me to finally get it in my head that mistakes are cumulative. It’s not garbage in, garbage out. It’s garbage in, garbage on. I can either accept that I ate the whole pie and move on, knowing that I’m going to be carrying that around until I can burn it off again (and knowing how long that’s going to take), or I can give up and call that a free pass to add on to that. In short, the idea that has really helped: whatever I take in that my body can’t handle is something I’m going to be carrying around with me for a long time. So it had better be worth it.
7. Mostly it’s just about being mindful, though. One of my biggest problems was just not thinking about the input.
Very good answers, Susan! I definitely saw you take half your food with you more than once on our trip. You’ve learned so much control, and I want that control. I will HAVE that control! And I used to have that same mentality where if I messed up on one meal, I felt like I blew it for the week and waited to start over the next week. It’s just an excuse to eat more. And if you mess up on a meal once EVERY week, then you never get back on track. I get that.
What really makes me mad at myself is that I learned so much when I worked for WW, so I know better than to do what I’ve been doing. And I can whine all I want about how menopause made me gain weight…and yeah it did because I couldn’t eat as much. But there are ways to fix that. Eat less and exercise more. Portion control is so important. And I feel like if I could slow down a lot when I’m eating, I could be more satisfied with the amount I’m eating.
I appreciate your comments. Sometimes seeing another person’s journey to better eating lets me know I can do it, too. Thank you!
I was thinking about this very same thing a couple of days ago. I think one thing, for me, is that when I work out, I feel great! I get a total endorphin rush from exercise. I hate getting up early, putting on workout clothes, going to the garage, getting started, blah blah blah, but I love HAVING exercised. I feel like a million bucks when I’m done working out.
The problem? I go shower and put on my clothes, and I realize–I feel a lot skinnier than I look. LOL. It’s like exercise makes me feel so great that I forget I still won’t be able to button those skinny jeans later in the day. I’m slowly learning to exercise for the natural, totally healthy “high” and not for the eventual results, because those results may never materialize.
Just my 2 cents… Just know I totally relate to your instant gratification issue… š
Amy
Thanks for you input, Amy! Exercise does feel great. It’s always that first step that’s hard…making yourself do it. I don’t know why, when we know we’re going to feel better. I need to get into the habit of going ahead and putting my exercise clothes on when I get home from work instead of putting my pajamas on… which has been my habit of late. š¦
Oh, Lauralynn! I can so relate. I love food, too. Salty and sweet, tangy and crunchy…I love them all. I almost never deny myself what I want when it comes to food. I have been lucky enough to have a good metabolism, I guess, and, I tend to be a snacker – not eating too much of the things I want. Still, my ‘yes, yes, yes’ attitude has added some pounds over the years.
How to make it (by it, I mean the want for and love of instant gratification) work for you?? Well, if you find the answer, ring me up right away! I want the answer too! As for me…I’m off to search some more recipes from Giada’s show earlier this afternoon….( āŖāŖā«āŖā«…I’m whistling happily, too) haha
By the way…did you get the email I sent? Attachments intact? lol…I’m always worried that my document will be lost somewhere in cyberspace..never to be seen or heard from again…
Nadja, I guess we all need to learn a little more self control. My biggest problem is portion control, and I need to work on that. I’m trying to cook more so I don’t eat out as often. That’s one of my downfalls.
Oops, sorry, I thought I had answered you, but I guess I didn’t. I got your email and can’t wait to read it. š
Yeah, eating out is a real belt-buster. I love to cook – and besides, my budget won’t allow all that eating out – haha! One thing I can add is this – I eat a lot of vegetables. Rice or potato and meats are more like my side-dishes and I know that helps on portion control. My biggest downfall is bread! I just love breads….yum. And dessert…I have a sweet after every meal !
Glad you got it okay. I get my hair up thinking of my baby sitting in some random person’s inbox….(ridiculous, I know, but honest…haha) All I can picture is then seeing my book’s title at Amazon or something and having a stroke…(even sillier – yes! But I have an overactive imagination…lol)
Have a great day, Lauralynn!
Wow. Isn’t it funny how we ladies can talk volumes about food? LOL. It’s such a dear topic to all of us, because we’ve all had struggles with the healthy path vs. what the taste buds want. I have learned that a lot of my hunger comes from malnourishment. Unless you’re eating a lot of raw (full of pure, unadulterated nutrients) fruits and vegetables, your body is always crying for more food. That’s not to say that I eat all raw stuff, but I definitely feel better when I lean that way. Lifting a little iron at least 1 x week also helps with the weight control. Then, I don’t feel so guilty after a donut. š
I guess my body will continue to cry for food because I just can’t eat all those fruits and veggies. I’m trying to figure out the ones I actually like and eat just those. I like apples and grapes. Not too keen on veggies, though. Except the starchy ones. And onions! I’m going back to pumping iron after I get rid of those crud I have. I’m trying to be careful because of the congestion.