I really don’t like to keep mentioning my diabetes on this blog. When I first found out I had it, I was determined not to make a big deal out of it. But it keeps coming up, and I realized it’s because it was, and still is, a huge part of my life. The only reason I need to mention it today is that it has impacted my writing.
When my blood sugar was high, I felt SO bad. I know I’ve said that before, but if you’ve never experienced it, it’s hard for me to get you to understand HOW bad I felt. So what happened was, I just got out of the habit of writing. I was to the point where I wasn’t writing at all. I wasn’t playing computer games, either. I was lying on the couch watching TV. At work, it was all I could do to get up out of my chair some days just to go to the bathroom or go get coffee. So now, I’m feeling SO much better. It’s amazing the difference a change in blood sugar makes. But here’s the thing. I got into a HABIT of not writing. And I’m having such a hard time breaking this habit. I’m doing more housework, I’m enjoying time with my family, I don’t leave “get-togethers” early (because I felt like crap)…but I’m still slacking in my writing.
I think part of my problem is that I’ve stopped thinking of writing as a job. I used to. When I was churning words out, I thought of it as my part-time job and something that I just DO. When I got out of the habit of writing, I started thinking of it differently, so I don’t have my mind back in the right place yet. Lagging book sales have also discouraged me a bit. There’s so much more competition now. I think if I start making myself believe again that this is my job, I’ll have more self-control about getting it done. If I can get my health habits under control, which I have, I can get writing back on track, too. It’s all about changing bad habits into good habits.
I only wrote one day last week.