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Posts Tagged ‘death’

A Sad Trip

This weekend I’m visiting Jonathan Eli who lost his wife (and my best friend) last month. I’m here with my best friend’s sister and mother, who are also like family to me. This is the first time I’ve set foot in this house since she’s been gone (it’s almost 500 miles away from my home), and as soon as I walked in, it didn’t feel right. Her absence hit me like a ton of bricks. There were some neighbors here at that time, so I had to go outside and cry. I refused to cry in front of strangers, but I was about to lose it, so I went outside with the dogs. I came back in after the neighbors left, and we all had a moment. This has been a hard trip. We had to go through a lot of her things, especially her jewelry and her craft items. Today, we went to church with Jon, and that was hard, too. I go to that church every year when my husband and I come up here for our annual visit, so it was very hard to be there without her. I’ve had a few moments this weekend where I couldn’t hold back the tears, but nothing as bad as when I first stepped into the house. We’re leaving in the morning, and I have mixed feelings about that. I’ll miss Jon, of course, but I’ll also be a little bit relieved to leave the house that feels so wrong without my friend. We’ve had a good visit, in spite of the circumstances, and we have been able to have a few laughs while we were here.

I just want to say that if any of you reading this has a friend that means the world to you, please don’t take her/him for granted. Spend as much time as possible with your friend, and talk often. Savor every moment and realize how precious it is. I’m glad I’m able to say that I did, and I don’t regret anything except the fact that she lived so far away. But we loved AOL Instant Messenger. 😉

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This is a post that I really don’t know how to write. The last round of ROW80 was hijacked by fate when my mom had a heart attack and I had to help her out a lot. I thought that was the worst that could happen to me for awhile. Not so. At 2:00 am this morning, I got a call from my best friend’s husband. Calls at that time of morning are never good. He told me that she had passed away. My friend of 38 years was gone, just like that. She was the same age as me.

The question is…can I go on with my WIP? The answer to that is yes. Why? Because she would want me to. She would never want me to abandon my writing to sit around and grieve over her. I’ll do a lot of grieving, there’s no question of that. Right now I feel like a heavy weight is on my chest and I can barely breathe. I don’t know when the dam will break and the crying will start. I hope it doesn’t happen at church this morning, because I don’t like public displays like that. But my church family would understand.

I would ask that you all send to her family and mine prayers if you pray and good thoughts if you don’t. She was the wife of an author friend that some of you might know, but I don’t know if he’s ready to make that public yet. I would ask special prayers and thoughts for him.

To all of you that are doing ROW80, I hope that you’re doing well…and I’m still there with you.

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