I haven’t been around social media much….
This past year, especially since October, has really been awful for me. My mom went to the emergency room early in October and was admitted to the hospital. They finally determined they would have to take part of her colon out, and when they got in there, they found they would have to take out her ENTIRE colon. She now has an ileostomy rather than a colostomy. Then, two days before she was to go to a nursing home for rehab, she fell and broke her ankle in two places…at the hospital. She also has a lot of stuff going on in her esophagus and stomach she’s having to take meds for.
Since then, her health has gone downhill. The long incision in her stomach from the surgery came open, and now it’s having to heal from the inside out. She has now developed MRSA (antibiotic resistant staph) where she had surgery on her ankle. She’s still in the nursing home, and her mind is slipping really bad. First, I made them check her for a UTI to see if that was causing the dementia. She did have one, and when she went on antibiotics, she was herself for two whole days. Then it was back to the craziness. It could be the MRSA or other infections causing the dementia. It came on way too fast to be Alzheimer’s. She was really smart and self-sufficient before all this happened. I have noticed a slight improvement the past couple of days, so maybe the antibiotic she’s on now is helping her. Fingers crossed. But as bad as she is, I don’t think she’ll ever be able to stay by herself. So there are some hard decisions to be made. The most likely scenario is that she’ll stay in the nursing home since everyone works and can’t stay with her. I’ve been up there pretty much every night since this all happened, and I see that being my future for quite some time.
So, new things. I’ve tossed this back and forth for awhile, and some of you have seen me post about it. But I think, for 2018, I’m truly going to focus on my other pen name. I’m tired of not making at least a part-time living on my writing. And it looks like Lauralynn just isn’t going to do it in the foreseeable future. I never market the other pen name, but it’s time to start. I’m going to concentrate all my efforts on that name for awhile and see where that goes. The genres are very different. My other name writes sweet romance and mysteries. I’m probably going to add a sweet historical romance and possibly a sweet older woman, younger man romance to the mix. We’ll see. I just think when something’s not working, I need to try something else. I’m not going to retire Lauralynn. If I get a good idea for a story that won’t fit the other name, I’ll probably write it under Lauralynn. I’m just so disappointed that Keeper of His Soul did so badly in sales. I felt sure this would be a book that would take off, but it just didn’t.
So I’m really going to try to be more organized next year and work hard to market my books in a non-spamming way. All that while taking care of Mom. Wish me luck or prayers, whichever one you do. I’m going to need them!
Hang in there, dear! You can do this. Just remember I’m here to help with your marketing on the other pen name. 🙂 You know where to find me! And be sure to still take some time for yourself so you can continue to help with your mom. An exhausted and worn down caretaker can’t keep caretaking. ❤
Thank you, Anya. You’ve always been there for me. Your friendship means so much to me!
Wow. I didn’t realize it was that bad. 😦 How heartbreaking. I’ll continue to pray for your mom.
I don’t blame you for deciding to focus on the pen name. You have to write what will earn you money. I wish more people understood how important it is to buy books. It’s an author’s livelihood.
I haven’t talked about it too much. There’s just SO MUCH wrong with her. It’s mind boggling. Thank you so much for your continued prayers.
I’ve always loved paranormal romance and hate to give it up. But I think the market is still just flooded with it, and not everyone likes it. I might switch to some thrillers for Lauralynn in the future. But right now, I’m going with the other pen name for awhile.
Hope things go better for your mom. Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.
Happy nee year! Will you still be Lauralynn here?
Thanks, John. I’ll deal with whatever comes.
I’m not going to stop using LL on social media. I have too many friends there. I’m going to gradually get most of my friends on the other pen name, too, if I can. I’m trying to avoid all the half naked guys and naughty stuff on the other name, so I might not bring everyone over. LOL The other name is more like the real me.
So sorry to hear about your mother. My prayers are with you always. Please take care of her and spend as much as time you can. About writing, I think you have decided to do the right thing. Historical Romance is very popular now-a-days. Sweet contemporary romances are fine too. I personally get attracted by book covers. Continue writing. Write as many books as possible for you without compromising the content. Wising you all the luck. May God bless you. Stay strong. ❤
Thank you, Simi. I see my mom every day, and sometimes she’s alert and sometimes she wants to sleep. So there are times I just watch her sleep. She seems to be improving a bit, though.
I’m going to try to write as much as I can when I’m not editing for other authors. I sometimes take my computer to the nursing home and work there.
Keep faith. With you by her side, she’s going to get well soon. It’s good that you are working from there too. All the best. 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom! You will both be in my prayers.
Thank you so much, Vania.
Oh, Lauralynn, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I will add both of you to my prayers. My mother passed away several years ago but prior to that my siblings and I had to make the same hard decisions you’re faced with now. There is never an easy answer, and being a caretaker is hard, physically, but especially emotionally. I remember days when I thought I would fall apart. Lean on God for strength, He is there to help in all times. I know your faith is strong and will help sustain you.
As for writing, the change may be what you need. Go where your pen leads you so that you can find pleasure in writing while working to make it profitable. It’s hard to earn a stable income in our field, but every little bit helps. I will be praying for you, my friend. God Bless.
Thank you for your prayers, Mae. People sometimes get so upset with you when you put a loved one in a nursing home, even if that’s the best option for them. She originally went there for rehab after surgery and a hospital stay, but her health declined, then her mind started going. There’s no one to stay home with her 24/7, and they are taking very good care of her at this nursing home. I’ve tried to turn it all over to God to control, but sometimes it’s hard not to say “God, this is what I want!” I can deal with the physical things, but the mental issues are heartbreaking.
I really hope I can do better when I start marketing the other pen name. I would just like to make a little bit of money. I plan on writing and editing (and formatting) full time when I retire, but that’s a few years away.
I’m wishing you all the best with everything you have going on. It is so hard to watch a loved one slowly deteriorate. Thee comes a point when all you can do is just be there for the person.
When you retire you’ll certainly have more time for writing and editing. In the meantime, if you work on launching your other pen name and would like to promo something on my blog, just let me know. I will be happy to host you and help spread the word!
Thank you, Mae! I would definitely be interested in doing a promo on your site. I’ve published three novellas and a novella that’s in a two novella anthology with another author. I’m currently working on the third installment on the mystery trilogy. I might call on you when I wrap up that trilogy with this current novella. I just haven’t promoted this pen name much.
Absolutely! Give me a shout when you’re ready. I’d be delighted to have you!
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for you and your family. You’re in my thoughts.
As far as your writing goes: A) This is YOUR decision. Go where your heart leads you. B) I didn’t realize Lauralynn WAS a pen name! C) Would a change in book cover maybe revamp Keeper of the Soul? It’s not a bad cover, but in my opinion, it looks like a book about a 1980’s rock singer, like Bon Jovi or Whitesnake. It looks dated. The font is a little hard to read, as well. Your name is fine, but the book title doesn’t pop. The red color doesn’t show up on the guy’s chest. I KNOW it’s terrible to judge a book by its cover, but it just doesn’t appeal to me, but maybe I’m not the target audience? I don’t know. It just looks campy, which I DO like campy, funny books, but then…maybe the cover should be even MORE campy, over the top campy, if that’s what you’re going for. And yes, it’s obvious I haven’t read the book. (Hides head in shame.)
Thanks for your feedback. I actually had a bunch of people tell me they thought the cover was hot and loved it. So what do you do? It’s funny because I was thinking Soul of a Vampire was the one that needed revamping. Vampire covers are often like this, but I’m going to send your feedback to my cover artist and see what she thinks.
It’s just a thought. I’ve been exposed to a LOT more covers from a LOT more genres this past year, through book club at my local library. I never really gave them much thought until I sat with a group of 10-20 people of differing ages and listened to all the different opinions. And they DO vary! It’s been a great experience. Plus, it got me out of my comfort zone as a reader. There are books I wouldn’t have picked up otherwise that I’ve really enjoyed. For me, this experience had ruined most books with a CLEAR pic of a character on the front. I like the ability to use my own imagination when reading. I suppose it’s the same reason why films feel like they’re lacking if I’ve read the book first. A silhouette of a character is fine, or a painting, but unless it’s a biography, I prefer covers that have a clear title, a clear author name, and aren’t overly busy looking. I don’t want a book that’s embarrassing if I’m reading it in a waiting room of a doctor’s office or waiting for my car to be repaired. And some covers, if you think about them, are only meant to be viewed in the privacy of your own home or on a Kindle, which is rather limiting. But, that’s just my opinion.
First off, Happy New Near Year, Lauralynn. Sorry to hear that 2017 was bad. I hope your mom is seeing some improvement and that you yourself are getting some rest and time for yourself.
Good luck with your other pen name and hopefully you’ll come back to Lauralynn in the future when the timing’s right.
Look after yourself xx
Hi Emma! I’m hoping that 2018 will be better in all aspects.
I’m seriously thinking of changing up Lauralynn a little bit when I come back to it. I’m thinking of thrillers and that sort of thing, maybe with a paranormal twist sometimes. It seems like my days of vampires are over. 😦
I could never say goodbye to vampires. In a few years there may be another surge of vampire love from readers and cinema goers everywhere, so you can always go back to it.
Sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mother. I know how hard it is to watch the quick decline of someone you love. I hope they find out what is wrong and heal her.
I wish you the best of luck with the other pen name. I know how hard it is to find that the pen name you hoped would pay some of the bills isn’t doing as good as you want and making the hard decision to do something else.
Thank you, Stephannie! I know you’re making some changes, too. I saw your post in my email and was on my phone, so I didn’t get to read all of it or comment yet. I’m still old school and prefer my laptop. 🙂 I’m at the hospital right now after mom had a procedure (which went great!) and have already formatted a print book for a client while I was here. LOL. I’ve learned since mom has had all these problems to do what I can when I can!
Good to hear that everything went great with her surgery and it’s awesome that you get to be with her while she’s in the hospital and still get stuff done. 😀
I know when my husband’s grandfather was admitted to the hospital 9 years ago, I got nothing done because I spent most of it running errands for everyone.
As for the changes, you could say that I was forced kicking and screaming into most of them. LOL
You see, two years ago my husband and I were faced with a similar dilemma as you when the health of my husband’s 94 year old grandma (the woman who raised him and his sisters after the deaths of his parents) went from a strong, self-sufficient woman to someone who couldn’t take care of herself properly. It eventually came down to placing her in a nursing home (which might have turned into the OK corral just to get her there) or take care of her at home (which was a fight unto itself for a proud woman who didn’t want to admit anything was wrong).
We decided to take care of her at home since we live across the street from her and if the time ever came that she needed to be watched 24/7 we would move in with her. I ended up being her caretaker for the last five months of her life and slowly watch the business that took 5 years to build slip away as her care took more and more of my time.
I know that people are quick to condemn someone for placing their loved ones in a nursing home, and I’ve noticed that those people are usually the ones who have never been faced with the choice. They have no idea the emotional and physical toll it takes on the caregiver. They aren’t taking into account that that person might need the professional care the nursing home provides or that not everyone can give up their job to take care of their loved one. They don’t stop the think about the situation of the people who have to make that choice. We all have different situations and we all have to do what we think best for the ones we love.
I also know that people are quick to condemn the actions of someone who has decided to take care of their loved ones at home. For almost two years, every decision my husband and I made for his grandma has been examined, torn apart, and questioned by his sisters who couldn’t be bothered to come see her. Not until the day of her death, did the sister who works in a nursing home herself, offer to come help us take care of her grandma.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand some of what you are going through and the choices that you are faced with. They are hard choices to make and you are doing the best you can. I wish you and your mother the best.